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I like this action song in our church. It's all about counting from 1 to 10. I'm teaching my child this song so that she can be a master in counting. She knows how to count. 
Researchers at Bristol University in England have discovered that delaying your baby’s introduction to lumpier foods may contribute to fussy eating habits. ‘Lumpy foods’ are semi-solids like small bits of cooked soft vegetables or food that is mashed with a fork.
The study found in the group of babies who were not given lumpy foods until they were 10 months or older, one in five were fussy eaters by the age of 15 months. Compared to babies who were introduced to lumpy foods between the ages of six and nine months, the fussy eaters were twice as likely to have firm food preferences and were more likely to insist on baby foods well after their first birthday. This research suggests that giving your baby a wide variety of lumpy or chewy foods between the ages of six and nine months will broaden their food appreciation and reduce the likelihood of fussy eating later on.
Source: Better Health Channel
* That is true! we must introduce "lumpy foods" to our child earlier so that they can eat fruits and vegetables. I introduce solid foods to my child when she is 6 months. I slowly let her taste the food until she likes it. She eat some vegetables like potato, carrots, squash and chayote. She eats banana and apple too. I have no problem with her in eating time because she really eats a lot. *
I saw this bed set on the internet. I want this bed set for my daughter if someday we can have our own house. I like tweety bird since High School. I have plenty of Tweety bird collection like bags, stuff toy, pens, pillow and many more. I will find this kind of design in department store and I will keep it. 
Description
With eight rooms to decorate and play in, the Fisher-Price Twin Time Dollhouse is eight times the fun! Help Mom and Dad and their adorable twin babies move into their new house. They're bringing their cat along, too! When playtime is over, the dollhouse conveniently folds up for storage or portability. Includes Mom, Dad, babies, cat, and ten other accessories. Measures approximately 28"L x 8"W x 30"H. Additional furniture and accessories sold separately.
Source: EToys.com
* I saw this toy in the internet. It's nice! I want to buy this toy house for my daughter Kyla this Christmas. But I am not sure if I can find this toy on the shopping malls or in the Toy Kingdom. I'm pretty she will like it! She likes to play "bahay-bahayan" in our house. *
My daughter knows the vowel sound but I want her to know the alphabet. I found this would alphabet on the net. I hope I can find one on the Toy Kingdom. I want her to learn the alphabet so that if she goes to school. She can identify the alphabet. She is good in memorization. 
I like this song. This is one of the song Kyla and her classmates will sing this coming December 9. It is our Church Anniversary.
Thy word
Disney & Me Magazine is a fun, interactive and learning magazine for children with just the right mix of comic stories, puzzles, games and coloring activities. It features well-loved Disney characters from the movies The Incredibles, Finding Nemo, Lilo & Stitch, Monsters, Inc., Toy Story, Beauty And The Beast, The Lion King, Chicken Little, The Chronicles of Narnia and more!
* I hope I can find one in the National Bookstore because my daughter Kyla can learn from this mag. She likes to listen to stories like Cinderella, Snow White, Little Mermaid and etc. She likes to color even if she just makes one direction. She can identify the primary colors because I bought her crayons. I hope I can buy this one because it helps her in learning more things in this world. *
Breastfeeding gives babies the best start and protects the mother's health.
Less eczema
Protects against diarrhea and tummy upset
Improves mental growth
Lowers risk of diabetes
Protects against ear infections
Straighter teeth
Honey can cause food poisoning (botulism) in infants less than one year old. Avoid adding such a sugar to bottles of water or formula and resist the temptation to dip soothers in them. If sugar is needed for constipation, use white granulated sugar. It works the same way and it's safe.
Source: Lambton Health
* I heard that some mom put honey in the water or milk of their babies. I never do that until now but I am planning to try but there is no honey in our place. They said that their babies like it. And now I saw this article that Honey can cause food poisoning in infants. Thank God I never try it in my baby. I am so very careful in giving food to my child when she is a baby. I'm afraid that she will suffer stomach ache. *
My daughter is so excited to go to church today because they will have a practice on their presentation this coming December 9. It was our Church Anniversary and they have a part in the program. They will have a presentation, they will sing and memo a verse in the Bible. She can slowly memo their song. I'm so happy and excited to buy a digi cam so that I can catch her a photo in that event. I hope I can find a cheaper one. There is only 1 Sunday left and then the next Sunday would be our Church Anniversary.
Me, Kyla and my sister-in-law Hannah make a charming smile here! LOL!!! 
Her Tita Hannah treat her like her younger sister because she is too young to be an Aunt. She is only 16 years old when Kyla was born. Kyla used to play with her even if she is makulit sometimes. She is loved by everyone. She is our little angel in the house and so sometimes she is spoiled.
Kyla is 1 year old here. She learns to walk and slowly learn to talk. This picture taken at Edit Station. My hubby took this picture. She really smile when you take her a photo. It is because when she is born we used to take her a photo until she grow..sanay na sanay siya. She is not shy in taking her a photo. She cooperates with you. Her father made her a model in her previous work. She can't get off of the camera. 
Some parents and teachers complain that children get “hyper” from eating too much sugar. However, there is no scientific evidence to show that sugar is linked with hyperactivity, poor behavior or learning difficulties in children. In fact, recent studies have shown that sugar tends to have a calming influence.
Children may indeed become over-excited and active on occasions where lots of sugary foods are served, such as birthday parties or family celebrations. This is likely a result of typical childhood excitement, not their sugar intake. Being tired or changes in routine may also be responsible.
Some very active children are labeled as hyperactive. However, actual hyperactivity in children is characterized by restlessness, irritability, aggressiveness and short attention span and is difficult to diagnose.
Source: CHSD
* My daughter likes to eat sweets or sugary foods. She likes cake. ice cream and chocolate. Thank God it's normal for them that they are hyperactive. It's not because of the sugar. This article helps us mom know the truth. But we should not let our children eat more sweets because possibly they will be diabetic. *• Serve toddler-size portions. Let you child ask for seconds.
• Offer finger foods often.
• Introduce a new food along with familiar foods.
• Go easy on seasonings and keep foods separate. Young children prefer simply prepared foods.
• Present a variety of foods from the four food groups. Let your child pick from what is available.
• Present food in a way your child can handle, in bite-size pieces for example.
• Encourage one bite to taste but don’t overdo the coaxing. You can’t force your child to eat anything.
• Don’t bribe or reward with food. Present food in a neutral fashion.
• Keep the television off during mealtime.
• Have your child sit with the rest of the family, at least for part of the meal.
• Don’t hurry your child. Remove the plate without comment after a reasonable length of time.
• Set a routine for eating. For example, foods are to be eaten at the table.
• Seat your child at a comfortable height to the table with feet supported.
• Eat with your child. Children learn how to eat by watching others.
Source: Lambton Health
* I'm so thanking for this article because it helps us. It guides us in feeding our toddler. I have no problem in feeding my child because she eats a lot. If she is hungry then she will ask food. There's no need to force her. *
You’ll be surprised at how little food a toddler needs to eat. Generally, toddlers aged 1 to 2 years can eat only about 1/4 to 1/2 of an adult portion. It’s better to offer small servings and let your child ask for more. Remember that appetite can vary a lot. Your child may appear to eat well at one meal and eat "like a bird" at the next. Don’t make an issue of it. Children are good judges of the amounts of food they need. Keep these points in mind:
You are responsible for what your child is offered to eat, where and when it is served.By the end of the first year, your child may be well onto the cup and off the bottle. Introducing a cup should be done slowly. Start by giving water or juice in a cup. Try serving milk in a cup at one meal. Slowly replace the bottle with a cup at each meal. If this doesn’t work, dilute the milk you put in the bottle with water, so that your toddler will prefer milk in the cup. A toddler should be able to handle a cup, although there may be spills. Don’t expect too much at first. Baby cups with lids and spouts may be helpful.
Source: Community Health Services Dept.
* My daughter is 2 years and 8 months old but I still breastfed her. She likes my milk. She can drink a bottle of milk for only 4 oz. a day. My brother tease her that she should be ashamed of what she is doing. She answered "Masarap dede ng mama ko." She is really a smart girl. She knows what she is talking about. I hope I can wean her next year. *
I was browsing on the net this day to find a new magazine issue this November at Smart Parenting magazine. Dawn and her son Jacobo was the model. I heard that Dawn must bear twins but unfortunately the other fetus has a health problems. I think they get it so that other fetus will survive. Oh..so sad. I think it's a boy like mine. Supposed to be I have 3 children now including my twins. They are boys but they died inside my womb because one of them has problems and the other get ill also. Until now..I am hurting of what happened to them but I'm still thankful to God for my daughter Kyla because she fills my emptiness when they gone. Kyla knows that she has older brother and she even knows their name. 
After my tutor..I went home. I am so happy that I will have no tutor session in the evening because they will have to relax after their exams this week. My poor daughter cried loud because she wants to go home. She wants her Lola Ading. I said to her that you will stay here in my mom's house because we will attend our prayer meeting this evening. She never listens to me and she said to her Papa..I want to go home..I miss my Lola Ading. We have no choice, so go home and leave her there. She was so happy seeing her Lola. She is very loving child. She loves everyone.:)
My daughter Kyla is a smart girl. She learn to reason out...
Kyla: Granny, I want to go home.
Granny: You can't go home because it's raining.
Kyla: Let us use umbrella.
She's right we use umbrella if it's raining and if it's hot. Toink! she's amazing! LOL!!!:)
I remember this song..
Twinkle, twinkle
Little Star
How I wonder what you are
Like a diamond in the sky
Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star
This song is for the babies. All moms will sing this song to their baby and the baby listens to her mom. Me too sing this song for Kyla when she was a month old. She likes to hear it! She will smile.:)
Our Church Anniversary is fast approaching and so I'm finding a dress for my daughter. While browsing on the net I saw these two lovely dresses that can surely fits to Kyla. I hope I can find one in the mall like these.
It's been a long time when I buy a Smart Parenting magazine. While browsing on the net I saw this mag at Filipino Magazines Subscriptions featuring Richard Gomez and her pretty daughter that looks both of her parents. She is a big girl now. I wonder her mom Lucy Torres have no plan to get pregnant for her second child. I saw her in ABC 5 hosting a dance show. She dance gracefully. I like her she's so beautiful. I hope her daughter will inherit her angelic beauty, talent and also intelligence.
Finally, my daughter grow
She is smart and active
Finally, she can understand
She is listens attentively
Finally, she is now a toddler
She is very nosy
Finally, she start learning
She is a very keen observer child..
One of the song my child gonna sing on their presentation in our incoming Church Anniversary was "I've Got Joy down in my heart"
I've got Joy down in my heart
Deep, Deep down in my heart
J-O-Y down in my heart
Deep, deep down in my heart
Jesus given to me and No one can destroy it!
Destroy, destroy..Opps...
I've got Joy down in my heart
Deep, deep down in my heart.
Oh! No! Christmas is fast approaching. I am crazy finding gifts for my "inaanak". Maybe it's better to give them clothes rather than toys. I have to find gifts for my daughter. I want to buy a Barbie for her as her collection. I hope there is a mallwide sale this coming December so that I can save some. Oh! No! I have to make a list now and make a budget list too.
Baby's got a stomach bug? Warning signs to watch for, and how to make sure she's getting enough fluids
When your baby's in the throes of a stomach bug, one nasty side effect is the mess — who knew such a little person could regurgitate so much, not to mention all those leaky diarrhea diapers. But a much more serious consequence is the risk of dehydration, which can happen very quickly in an infant and cause dangerous complications, and even death. The good news: "Most babies can avoid dehydration just by eating," says Peter Belamarich, M.D., a pediatrician at the Children's Hospital at Montefiore Medical Center in Bronx, NY. If you breastfeed, he recommends you continue to nurse, giving your baby short, frequent feeds. Formula-fed babies should pass on their usual bottles and drink an electrolyte solution instead, until the vomiting subsides. If your baby refuses to eat, get out a medicine dropper and give her two or three teaspoons of the electrolyte solution every 15 minutes, and watch for these signs of dehydration:
Dry diapers. Your baby should be wetting six to eight diapers a day. If you find one is still dry a few hours after a change, check in with your doctor.
A dry, parched-looking mouth, sunken eyes, a sunken fontanel, and a lack of tears when your baby cries (once she's crying tears). Get your baby to the doctor if she shows even one of these symptoms.
Continued vomiting. If your baby has been throwing up consistently for 6 hours or sporadically for 24 hours, talk to your pediatrician.
www.parenting.comI'm so happy because my daughter Kyla can slowly memorize their memory verse in John 3:16. They will have a presentation in our Church Anniversary this coming December 9. I'm so excited for that event! I teach her some of their songs at home so that she can familiarize their action song. I'm so proud of her because she is smart and God-loving child.:>
How long should my newborn's soft spots last?
Q How long should soft spots last? My friend's baby had surgery because his closed too soon!
A I know your friend's situation has you worried about your own baby, but try to relax: Her child's
condition is rare.
To answer your question, you may feel at least one soft spot on your baby's head until well past her first birthday, though they may close entirely by as soon as 9 months.
It helps to understand what soft spots are. A newborn's skull isn't solid; it's made up of six bones with spaces between them called sutures. The two places where the sutures come together, at the front and back of the head, are called fontanelles, or "soft spots." The one at the back of the head closes when a baby is 1 to 4 months old, but the front one, and the sutures around it, shouldn't fuse until 9 to 18 months.
When the bones join too soon, it causes a condition called craniosynostosis. Mild cases can result in a slightly abnormal head shape; severe ones can squelch infant brain growth, leading to problems like mental retardation, seizures, or blindness. The treatment can range from nothing to a "mold" (a helmet-like thing that guides the head into the right shape) to surgery to reopen the space between the bones.
Pediatricians routinely check babies' heads precisely so they can catch — and treat — craniosynostosis right away, which is what happened with your friend's baby.
How to keep your preschooler's artwork on paper
You leave your 3-year-old at his little table with his favorite markers and a pad of paper. Two minutes later he's created a masterpiece — all over the wall! What gives?
While a younger child will draw on a wall simply because he'll color on anything, a 3- or 4-year-old is up to something different. At this stage in his physical development, it's actually easier for him to draw with his hand out in front of him than underneath him, says Becky Bailey, Ph.D., author of There's Gotta Be a Better Way. It's a much more comfortable position that allows him better hand-eye control — and that makes his art projects a lot more fun.
Most kids are able to work comfortably at a desk or table by the time they graduate kindergarten. Until then? Remind your child that writing on the wall isn't allowed (and have him help you clean up if he makes a mess). But give him the chance to draw the way he really wants to. Use an easel if you have one, or tape big sheets of paper to the wall. Or encourage him to draw lying down, which is also easier than leaning over a desk.
When to know if it's time for a new plan
If your health insurance policy doesn't cover well-baby checkups and immunizations, it might be time for a new plan, says Jane Cooper, CEO of Patient Care, a firm that helps people with insurance issues. Her tips:
• The fewer visits you make, the higher a deductible you should go for (you'll pay less for the policy). If you make at least one or two doctor visits a month, though, a lower deductible is best. Or join a managed care plan that just requires co-payments.
• If a plan mandates that you see participating physicians, check that its list includes any pediatric specialists your child may need.
• Make sure emergency care is covered and that you'll be reimbursed no matter which hospital ER you go to.
My baby sweats so much while she's sleeping -- what's going on?
Q My infant perspires profusely from her head while she's sleeping. When she wakes up, it looks like she's been bathing! What's going on?
A Some babies just sweat more than others — infants' bodies are still developing, so their ability to regulate temperature can be a little off. The explanation for the wet head may be that sweat's simply most noticeable there, since the head is such a big part of a baby's surface area.
Even so, be sure you're not overbundling your baby. Babies don't need more than light clothing and a light blanket.
In very rare cases, excessive sweating can be a sign of a heart problem, an overactive thyroid gland, breathing problems, or other medical conditions. It's unlikely that your baby has one of these — she'd probably show other symptoms besides just sweating — but a chat with the doctor would be a good idea just in case.
www.parenting.comMany parents of new multiples wonder how their children will be able to develop individual identities when their early experiences and environment are so similar, especially if they look alike. Most parents have seen media accounts of adult twins who still live together and dress alike, who seem never to have become separate people with separate lives. These parents wonder what they can do to prevent this from happening to their children.
When parents call the twinline with concerns about individuality, we assure them that individuation is not something that parents do to twins. Twins, triplets or more are individuals already, by virtue of the fact that they have physically separate bodies and brains. Families can either enhance or obscure their multiple-birth children's individuality, but they need not create it. That has been taken care of already. (Incidentally, parents report that fingernail polish on one twin's big toe helps them tell their babies apart.)
Parents sometimes tell us they feel guilty that in the chaotic and exhausting early months, they are unable to give each baby much individual attention. Again, we reassure them that every time they change a diaper, feed or talk to the babies, they are giving "individual attention." Each child experiences these simple acts with his or her own sensory equipment, storing them away in each one's personal memory bank as feedback from the external world.
For the first year or so, then, it is not necessary to be concerned about providing separate experiences or otherwise promoting "individuation" for twins. Parents have their hands full just attending to the physical care of their babies. But what about the period between 18 months and three years when children are forming concepts of their individual identity, and beginning the two-decade process of separating from their parents? Is there anything parents can do during this stage to increase their twins' ability to establish individuality and develop separate lives as adults? YES!
Here are some simple yet very helpful and important things parents and other family members can do to promote healthy identity formation in their multiples.
While trying to carry out the above suggestions (don't worry if you can't manage all of them all of the time), you may still be wondering if you should be providing separate experiences for your multiples as a way of helping them develop individuality. There may be some benefit in arranged separations, but they needn't be forced before the twins are ready to accept them. If providing outings for one at a time imposes a great financial or logistical hardship on the family, try something simpler, like a five minute special talk-time with each child every morning or at bedtime.
In some families, each parent takes one twin on brief separate outings at the same time. Sometimes it works for one parent to take one out while the other twin stays home with the other parent. Few young twins understand this, however. They think the one staying home is being deprived or punished. A single parent who has a close relative or friend whom the children know well and are comfortable with might ask this person to babysit one child at a time to provide each one with some special private time with the parent.
Short periods away from a co-twin give each twin the opportunity to interact directly with an adult or other children, without help, interference or competition from each other. Especially in situations where one twin is more verbal and assertive and routinely expresses needs for the quieter twin, separate times call on a shy child to learn to "speak for yourself." Such experiences can be helpful for the development of language and a sense of individual social competence.
If arranging separate experiences for your toddlers is difficult for you or upsetting to the twins, don't do it. Physical separation is not what makes people individuals. The important thing is to establish individual relationships with each child, however you can work this out. Acknowledge each one's interests and achievements with smiles and praise, attend to their needs as presented. If they sense that you see them as two separate, different beings, they will learn to see themselves that way, too.
The subject of separate experiences and individuation inevitably leads to the issue of placement in school. It may seem logical from what we have said so far that twins are better off in separate classrooms. Indeed, many school administrators still follow a policy of routinely separating twins in kindergarten, regardless of parental wishes, in the mistaken belief that this will promote individuality and decrease behavior problems for the teacher.
However, the fact is that all twin development research in the past twenty years plus the experiences of thousands of twin families support the opposite conclusion. Twins who are allowed to be together in preschool and as long as they want to be in the early elementary years seem to make a much better adjustment both academically and socially than those who are arbitrarily separated. Four and five year olds are simply not ready to make the transition from home and parents to school and achieve separation from their lifelong companion simultaneously. Twins who are separated too soon become so anxious about each other's whereabouts and welfare that they can't concentrate on learning and socializing. Once the adjustment to school is accomplished, separation in later grades happens naturally and easily. We have found that the development of individuality in twins is delayed, not enhanced, by too early school separation.
In their desire to promote individuality in their twins, parents may encourage or impose differences between the children which do not exist. Identical twins and even some fraternals may have very similar interests and abilities. They should not be deprived of the opportunity to pursue the same hobbies, sports or lessons if that's really what they are inclined to do. Try to support and respect each child's true inclinations as much as possible, however alike or different they may be.
It is important to realize that attitudes about the value of individuality vary widely across different cultures and that the United States is probably at the extreme in glorifying "rugged individualism." For example, African customs regarding twins celebrate and call attention to twinship in a variety of ways, and Black Americans often continue these traditions by dressing fraternal twins alike for many years and giving them similar names.
Twins are born into a uniquely close and complex relationship, more intimate, even, than marriage. They probably know more about how to conduct and maintain a long-term relationship than those of us who came into this world alone. On the other hand, the challenge of becoming an independent adult is more complicated for twins than for the rest of us. As we have discussed, parents can help the process along in subtle ways without violating the close bond between their children.
When to Hire?
When Sittercity.com first went online with its job posting options, we saw all kinds of responses from parents. Some posted jobs two months in advance, and some posted for that very same night! Not surprisingly, they all had very different response and success rates.
Sorting through it all, we learned that online jobs need a little more advance time than offline postings such as in schools, in community centers or through your own social networks, and that two weeks is the winning time frame overall for booking your sitter. This time frame allows parents one week for posting and hearing from sitters and one week for screening references and interviewing. Parents with the highest success rate shared two criteria in common. First, they were clear about exactly what they needed and when. Second, they wasted no time in following up with sitters who responded: 40 percent of the parents responded to all applicants within 24 hours of getting their application, and 90 percent responded within three days.
www.parenting.ivillage.com
Having a new baby in the family transforms your life. Among all the major changes, it's important to find time for your relationship with your partner.
Your daily routines, social life and even what you talk about with your partner will all be different once your baby is born. Like any great change, you'll need time to get used to it. Expect some ups and downs as you work out new ways of spending time together.
Along with greater closeness and your shared love for your child, there will be less time for you to be together, more decisions to be made and perhaps financial issues to tackle.
How the two of you get on is important for your children too
How the two of you get on is important for your children too. They are learning about relationships by noticing and copying you both. When you put in the effort to make each other feel needed, you and your family will benefit.
As your family grows and life gets busier, you'll have less chance to spend time together as a couple. When you do, conversations are likely to be filled with practical details of who's doing what and when, and you'll have less opportunity to share your thoughts and feelings.
Remember when you first met and spent hours exchanging stories and secrets? This intimacy brought you together and is still needed to keep you close. Staying interested in one another and sharing an emotional life can be important to your enjoyment of each other as a couple.
Once a week, try looking at and listening to your partner as if you're meeting for the first time. Notice all the things which attracted you in the first place. Refreshing your relationship like this can be as important to your family as all the effort you put into being parents.
This means more than just keeping quiet and not jumping in - though that can be hard enough!
To bring you closer through talking, make a time away from the children each week when you can avoid talking about family matters and focus on your relationship.
Use feeling words. Talk about your emotions as well as events. Don't assume your partner knows how you feel. Keep telling each other how much you care.
It's a good idea to discover more about each other, too. Take turns to ask these simple questions - you may be surprised by some of the answers.
Used for healthy full-term babies, massage can be relaxing for both babies and parents.
Massage can:
Make sure the room and your hands are warm. Gently stroke any part of your baby's body, using oil if you prefer (baby oil is OK, but do not use aromatherapy oils and avoid nut-based oils such as almond oil).
Never carry on if your baby isn't enjoying it, or massage a baby who has had a recent immunisation or seems ill.
Remember, don't massage your baby's tummy before she's four weeks old. You'll enjoy the feeling of gently massaging your baby, but miss out her spine.
www.baby.co.uk
First tree, first presents, first Christmas dinner with the family. Here we give you advice on how to make your baby's first Christmas one to remember, recreating your own family traditions and perhaps adding some of your own.
Christmas is a traditionally exciting, stimulating, happy time in family life. Sharing this time and these feelings with your baby can be a great bonding experience. Your baby will pick up on changes in your family routine, such as the bright colours of decorations and the extra excitement and noise when relatives visit.
You are building your baby's first experience of Christmas, and what it means in your family.
Remember back to your own early experiences of Christmas: what made it special for you?
Decorating the tree with your parents - watching the light flicker on the shiny balls and tinsel.
The anticipation you felt on Christmas Eve - drinking warm drinks together by your tree, watching Christmas specials on TV.
Playing 'Father Christmas' and passing presents to family members - enjoying giving out the presents as well as receiving them.
Tasting the different foods - enjoying new foods like Christmas pudding and custard, and feeling the different textures.
Spending time with your cousins and other young family members - having fun playing with other kids during the family Christmas.
Recreate some of your positive experiences with your baby this Christmas.
The best times in childhood were most likely to be those where you shared a special time with your family. Recreate some of your positive experiences with your baby this Christmas.
For the first time, your baby will be part of your family's Christmas traditions and rituals. With a new baby in the family, it's also an opportunity to start some new family traditions.
Enjoy this time together. Don't be afraid to get creative, and remember, take lots of pictures! Here are some things you can do to celebrate your baby's first Christmas:
Buy or create your baby's first Christmas stocking - be sure to include your baby's name on the stocking and you can use it for years to come. Hanging the stocking will be a picture-worthy occasion.
Family photo - get the family together in Christmas garb and set the timer on your camera for a traditional family portrait. Take a new photo each year and see your baby grow into childhood and beyond. When framed, these photos make great Christmas gifts for grandparents and other relatives, and can also be used in personal cards.
Hand and foot prints - carefully coat your baby's hands and feet in red or green paint, then 'print' them onto good quality card or light coloured fabric. Wait until dry, and hang the prints on your walls alongside your Christmas decorations. Seeing baby's hand and foot prints will remind you of the importance of the occasion - their first Christmas. You can also bring the prints out each year and look back on how much your baby has grown.
Christmas time can be very stimulating for your baby. She will see a lot of different faces - some of them new - as she cuddles with grandma and grandpa, aunts and uncles and other relatives.
This can be a great way for your baby to soak in the feeling that Christmas is a time of family warmth. However, such an occasion also means your baby's routine is disrupted, which can be very unsettling.
Your baby's sleeping times may be upset by the noise and excitement of Christmas festivities. And you may find it hard to deal with the deluge of baby-caring advice, such as how to deal with crying and the best type of nappies to use, from well-meaning relatives who are celebrating Christmas with you.
Remember, you know your baby's routine best. If they are getting tired, overwhelmed or upset, take them into a separate room, away from the fuss, to calm and reassure them. Don't be afraid to shoo away 'helpers' if necessary.
Your baby is not going to know how much was spent on his present, or if the toy you bought is part of the latest fad. More often than not, babies and toddlers delight more in playing with the colourful wrappings than the toy itself.
Wrap your baby's presents with lots of paper and have fun helping him as he tries to tear it off. Don't be upset if your baby has more fun with the box your present came in than the actual present.
How to tell if your child's sandals are good for his feet
You may be tempted by cute flowers and bright slip-ons, but little kids, especially toddlers and preschoolers, need flexible-yet-firm sandals for their developing foot muscles and arches. Sports sandals usually pass the test. Look for:
Back straps so feet won't slide out when they're running. Forget open-back sandals for now.
Soles that aren't too rigid. When you flex the shoe, it should bend easily at the ball of the foot (right below the toes), not in the middle. But you shouldn't be able to twist it like a pretzel.
Flip-flops? Too flimsy. Platform sandals? Too hard.
Your 6-year-old's been invited to her first sleepover and is begging to go. You can handle it (ah...a chance to sleep late!), but can she? To judge, ask yourself:
How high-maintenance is her bedtime routine? If she comes undone when you so much as cut short storytime, she's not likely to deal well with someone else's mom saying good night.
What's she afraid of? You can fix a fear of the dark by packing a nightlight in case the other child doesn't have one, but things that go bump in the night aren't as easy. A friend's parents may not be as adept at banishing monsters under the bed (or willing to turn off their noisy heating pipes).
What are the sleeping arrangements? Light sleepers may have a hard time nodding off in a sleeping bag or on the floor, and kids who have their own room may be unhappy sharing a bed.
What's going on in her life right now? Big transitions, such as a divorce or a move to a new school, obviously aren't the best times to test her sense of security, but even smaller stuff — like a new bedtime — can rock a child's world too.
What are her bathroom habits? If she needs an escort during the night or wets the bed at times, her embarrassment quotient is going to go way up. Ditto if she wears bedtime diapers and her friend doesn't.
And if she's not ready? Stand firm, but ease the letdown by setting some goals. Start with camping downstairs, then try a night at Grandma's.
If you decide to say yes, send her with a care package: In addition to pj's and a toothbrush, add a favorite blanket or furry friend. Then stick by the phone. Don't be surprised if she calls — the trauma of having to stay the night can sometimes be worse than the humiliation of being whisked home in the wee hours.
Massaging small babies with sunflower seed oil is a cheap and easy way to protect them against infections, doctors advise.
Premature babies are at increased risk of life-threatening infections because their skin is under-developed and lacks full barrier protection.
A study in the Lancet shows anointing the skin with sunflower seed oil helps restore this barrier to cut infections.
The findings are particularly important for developing countries, they say.
Baby massage
Every year over 13 million babies are born prematurely across the world - many in developing countries.
Mortality is particularly high in poorer countries because the babies often require specialist medical treatment which can be expensive, and infection is a major problem.
Dr Gary Darmstadt and colleagues from Johns Hopkins University in the US studied premature babies born in Bangladesh.
Baby massage holds a number of benefits, both emotional and physical for premature babies 
A spokeswoman from the premature baby charity BLISS
Mothers there, as in much of South Asia, massage their babies with mustard oil.
But unlike sunflower seed oil, Dr Darmstadt believes this could be doing more harm than good because it has a toxic rather than a protective effect on the skin and delays recovery of the skin's natural barrier.
He ran a trial where 497 premature (less than 33 weeks gestation) and low birth weight (less than 1.5kg) babies were randomly assigned to receive sunflower seed oil, a petroleum-based ointment called Aquaphor or no intervention.
The treatments were applied to the entire body of the babies, apart from the scalp and face, three times a day for the first 14 days and then two times a day until the babies were discharged from the hospital.
Hand hygiene
During this time, the researchers looked for signs that the babies had caught any infection.
The babies treated with the sunflower seed oil or the Aquaphor had about seven infections per 100 days in hospital, while the babies who had no intervention had nearly 11 per 100 days in hospital.
When the treatments were started within 24 hours of the baby being born they reduced the risk of infection by up to 60%.
Application of sunflower seed oil will be ineffective if hand hygiene is not good
Dr Andrew Lyon, consultant neonatologist at Edinburgh Royal Infirmary
Given that sunflower seed oil is cheaper and more readily available, and performed equally as well if not better than Aquaphor in the study, the researchers said mothers in countries like Bangladesh should be encouraged to use it on their babies.
Dr Darmstadt said: "The challenge now is to discourage use of mustard oil and persuade people to use alternative, proven, available and low-cost products such as sunflower seed oil."
Dr Andrew Lyon, consultant neonatologist at Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, said good handwashing remained the major strategy for reducing infection among newborn babies.
"Application of sunflower seed oil, or indeed anything, will be ineffective if hand hygiene is not good."
He said sunflower seed oil could help cut infections, but only if it was applied correctly which would require some training of staff and parents.
A spokeswoman from the premature baby charity Bliss said: "We know from experience that baby massage holds a number of benefits, both emotional and physical for premature babies.
"It is very positive news."
www.baby.co.uk
It's important to understand that for at least their first six months, babies have no concept of actions as 'naughty'.
A young baby is unable to work out that crying can annoy you and they can't decide to stop because you're upset or angry.
When your baby touches the video or TV controls, it's because they're exploring and trying to learn how things work - they've no idea it might irritate adults.
Even as your baby gets a little older, she'll still have a very short memory. Once something has happened, it's 'over' for babies. They won't remember that yesterday you told them not to do a particular thing.
It's natural for babies to be curious about the world around them. They'll do most exploring by touch and can't resist touching TV sets, photo frames, ornaments or anything within reach. 'Baby proofing' your home is a good way to prevent accidents and help you keep your sanity in their early exploring days.
As babies get a bit older - about nine months to one year - you can start to guide them. You can begin to teach your baby the behaviour you expect and the difference between right and wrong. Even when your baby begins to understand what is meant by "no", she won't always do what you want. She won't really understand how others feel for a long time yet, and can't work out that what she's doing could make you cross - so there's absolutely no point in punishments.
Don't expect too much, too soon. It's normal for a six-month-old baby to mess about with food, and it's normal for a baby enjoying being on the move to want to touch everything. Babies will make lots of 'mistakes' because of their immaturity and lack of experience, it's all part of how they learn.
All children gradually need to have limits set for them. It's never OK, for example, to bite a brother or sister or to pull a friend's hair.
For some babies it's enough to say "don't touch the video" or "please stop doing that". Others will have to be physically lifted away. Always explain why the behaviour is not OK.
Remember, your baby learns by trial and error. She doesn't know behaviour will annoy you. She only thinks "if I try doing this I wonder what will happen", not "if I do it, I can make mummy and daddy mad".
Many children gain comfort from a dummy, blanket or favourite toy. But it's not always easy to wean a child off their comfort habits.
These objects take on the same soothing powers as you have over your child and are as hard to part with as letting you go. Dummies are particularly powerful soothers as they allow your child to suckle, an activity they find very calming. Children do grow out of using their comforters, and most toys and blankets do no harm unless they limit the play and learning opportunities your child has. For example if your child is holding a toy and therefore cannot do some play activities, try creative solutions like using a special bag for the comfort object so his hands are kept free.
Dummy use and thumb sucking for long periods each day can affect your child's speech and language development, and the alignment of their teeth. Dummies should be discarded before your child is one year old. There is no single way to help them let go of their comforter. Some children do well if you gradually reduce their access to the comforter, for example allowing them to have their blanket at breakfast and bedtime, then eventually removing it altogether. Some parents reduce the size of a comfort blanket or rag by a small piece at a time over several weeks until there is very little left. The remaining piece can then be carried in your child's bag or pocket and is eventually forgotten.
Other children respond well if you describe giving up the comforter as a way to be grown up. You could have a ritual where you and your child put all the dummies in the bin and your child gets something more grown up like a special cup or sports bottle to show they've been a big boy.
Some children do develop unusual comfort habits, which work by keeping you near them and involve touch such as holding or stroking. The rhythmic activity of stroking your hair has the function of keeping you near and is calming in itself. These comforting activities do not suggest a behavioural issue. These habits can be broken and most often this happens when the parent involved is away from home. The child is then unable to carry out the habit and must accept other carers to soothe him, which can be distressing at first.
Another way to change this habit is to limit the amount of time your child can spend on the comfort activity - in particular make the stroking/holding stop before he falls asleep, since this strengthens the link between the habit and being soothed.
Thumb sucking is especially difficult to limit as the comfort object is available to your child at all times. Like much behaviour change the most effective approach is to pay lots of attention to the behaviour you want and little or none to the behaviour you'd like to stop. Ideas include praise, stickers and lots of hugs whenever you notice your child is not thumb sucking. When you notice the habit, either ignore it or say, in a matter-of-fact tone "that's not okay" and gently guide the thumb from your child's mouth. At the same time try to divert his attention on to something else, like a toy or book.
However you manage the issue of the comforter you can expect your child to be a little harder to settle for a while. You may need to spend more time with him at bedtime or when there has been an upset, he will
need extra reassurance at this time.
You can also expect more tantrums and tears as your child expresses his frustration and tries to manage his feelings without a comforter. Your calming voice and your arms holding him safe will help with these feelings and reassure him he can cope.
www.baby.co.uk
What to expect with baby number two or three:
A faster labor. Good news: On average, second-time moms are in labor for eight hours — compared to the 14-hour average for first-timers. Why? If you've already had a baby, your cervix starts out softer and more prepared for childbirth.
Shorter window of opportunity for an epidural. Faster labor and a tendency among veteran moms to delay going to the hospital may mean missing the chance for an epidural — usually given when the cervix is four to six centimeters dilated. So if you want one, be sure to say so as soon as you've checked in.
Fewer glitches. Just because you had a complication before, like a breech baby, doesn't mean it will happen again.
Less chance of an episiotomy. The soft tissues of the vagina have already stretched during your first birth, so you may be able to deliver without an incision.
More intense after-pains. Contractions continue after delivery to help the uterus get back to its prepregnancy size. Since a woman's uterus typically gets larger with subsequent births, it may need stronger contractions to return to normal.
The truth behind this pregnancy myth
What you've heard: How you're carrying predicts your baby's gender.
The truth: You'll be right 50 percent of the time. As one version of the theory goes, if your belly sticks out straight, you're having a girl; if you carry lower, with weight around your hips, it's a boy. But this isn't an accurate way to predict your baby's gender. It's fun to speculate, but for now only a clear ultrasound or a genetic test like amniocentesis can tell you for sure. Research is also under way to develop a test that could detect the sex of a baby by studying your cervical mucus. Stay tuned.
I'm terrified of going through labor — how can I stop obsessing?
Q My first baby is due next month, and I'm terrified of giving birth. Obviously, it's inevitable, but I wish I could skip it. How do I stop obsessing?
A Of course you want to skip it. During each of my three trips to the hospital I had a moment — or ten — when I wondered why I couldn't just fast-forward to the recovery room.
The wish to escape is strongest when you're staring down delivery for the first time. You're heading toward a great unknown. And you're petrified by all those stories you've heard. (We veterans can't help "enlightening" newbies. I blame sleep deprivation.)
First, know that you can't control every aspect of the birth. Your baby is often the one calling the shots, so take a big Lamaze sigh of relief: The pressure's off. Also, trust your body. During labor, if you start thinking "I can't do this," remind yourself that you are doing it.
Finally, remember that having a baby is more than physical. It's easy to tick off each and every clinical aspect of delivery, but no one can describe the profundity of the experience. (The best we vets can come up with is "It was amazing." Again, I blame sleep deprivation.) This is what makes the process worth going through. It promises to deliver a feeling too amazing for words — not to mention a baby too beautiful to describe. And you wouldn't want to skip that.
For moms-to-be: what's okay, and what to avoid
Raw/undercooked foods
the issue: Some raw foods can cause listeriosis, salmonellosis, and other illnesses that may lead to miscarriage or serious health problems for your baby.
what's okay: Well-done meats, poultry, and fish; vegetarian sushi; deli meats (cold cuts) and hot dogs that have been reheated to steaming in a microwave; canned or shelf-stable pâtés and meat spreads.
what to avoid: Any of the above items that have not been cooked to the proper temperature; raw sprouts (including radishes); raw shellfish; raw eggs.
Fish
the issue: Certain fish may contain high levels of mercury, which can contribute to developmental delays. Farm-raised fish may be contaminated with PCBs (cancer-causing agents) and other toxins.
what's okay: You can safely consume up to 12 ounces a week of wild salmon (not farm-raised), sea bass, shrimp, sole, snapper, flounder, catfish, cod, haddock, sardines, tilapia, ocean perch, and pollack. Restrict tuna consumption to the "chunk light" canned variety and no more than six ounces a week. Canned or shelf-stable salmon is safe.
Cheese and dairy products
the issue: Raw and unpasteurized dairy products can cause listeriosis, salmonellosis, and other foodborne illnesses.
what's okay: Pasteurized milk and yogurts; well-cooked (that is, not runny) eggs; hard cheeses.
what to avoid: Raw milk and any dairy product (cheese, yogurt) made with raw milk; soft cheeses such as Brie, feta, Camembert, Danish blue, Roquefort, and Mexican-style queso blanco and queso fresco (unless they're clearly marked as pasteurized); uncooked foods made with raw eggs (such as salad dressings and protein shakes).
Caffeine/herbal teas
the issue: Caffeine can cross the placenta and affect fetal heart rate and respiration. Certain herbs cause adverse reactions, and some teas are not regulated, so you can't be sure of the herb's concentration.
what's okay: Up to 300 mg of caffeine a day (an 8-ounce cup of coffee has about 150 mg, a 12-ounce can of soda has 35 to 50 mg, and an 8-ounce cup of black tea has about 40 mg); flavored decaffeinated teas in filtered bags (citrus, ginger, peppermint).
what to avoid: Teas made with goldenseal, black or blue cohosh, ephedra, dong quai, feverfew, juniper, pennyroyal, Saint-John's-wort, rosemary, or thuja.
Artificial sweeteners
the issue: They cause no known harm to babies in utero. Still, some experts caution against them.
what's okay: Saccharin, aspartame and Splenda in moderate amounts.
what to avoid: Drinking lots of nutritionally void diet drinks instead of healthier ones like water and juice.
Kids - especially young ones - who don't know how to control their emotions may strike out by hitting, biting or pushing another child, or even a parent or caregiver. It's up to parents to teach them other ways to express their anger and frustration.
Try these tips that elementary school teachers find effective:
1. Tell your child that anger is a normal emotion, and that we just have to learn how to manage it.
2. Help children identify when they're angry (some kids yell and scream, others get an upset stomach or headache).
3. Tell them you understand why they might be angry (perhaps you've banned TV until homework is finished).
4. Teach cool-down techniques (counting to 20, taking deep breaths or writing angry thoughts on a piece of paper that you later tear up).
5. Help children write a list of things they can do next time instead of hitting.
6. Encourage kids to talk about what made them so angry.
7. Make sure your child has a healthy diet and gets plenty of rest.
8. Limit exposure to violence on TV or in electronic games.
9. Help your child handle stress by listening to soothing music, exercising or playing with a pet.
10. Remind children to respect the rights and feelings of others.
www.parenthood.com
A baby's first smile is unforgettable. Just a few weeks after birth, that quick, small curve of the lips signals the beginning of a developmental journey that transforms an innate, spontaneous offering into a complex social expression of joy and invitation. A smile is more than charming; it is essential to a child's social and emotional future.
Before 1 month of age, an infant's smiles are predominately an inborn behavior, rather than responses to something he sees, hears or feels. These early smiles, reflexive and unrelated to social interaction, occur most often during deep sleep and the transitions between waking and sleep.
By 2 months of age, however, most babies begin to offer smiles in response to a pleasing or gently surprising external event: the appearance of their mother's face, a favorite toy or a sibling's grin. A combination of visual and auditory stimulation, or sights and sounds, is especially likely to elicit these delighted - and delightful - smiles.
The shift from spontaneous, internally motivated smiles to responsive, externally motivated smiles is due in part to an infant's growing ability to maintain eye contact and visual attention for longer periods of time. As a baby becomes more aware of his world, the frequency of these smiles increases.
Even the responsive smiles of a 2-month-old, however, are still strictly a reflection of the infant's internal response to something engaging. The next phase of smiling, social smiling, launches a baby's ability to share positive emotions with other people. Finally, he is able to communicate his personal feelings to the world at large.
The First Discovery:
When I smile, you smile!
The earliest social smiling occurs between a baby and a parent. Babies love faces; right from birth they will focus intently on their mothers' faces, and even on abstract images arranged like facial features. This kind of brow-knitting concentration is hard work for an infant, so she has two strategies to relax herself: She may look away, giving herself a break from the intense sensory input. Or, she may relax her brow and smile, which also releases tension.
This focus on faces and early ability to self-regulate signal a baby's emotional development and her need to connect to her caretakers. While an infant's smiles during the first two months of life are primarily receptive, reflecting her inner feelings, by the third month of life she begins to use her smiles to elicit an emotional connection. She's learning that smiling and animating her face, hands and voice results in pleasurable attention from her caretakers, and that when she acts in a certain way, she can expect certain responses.
The Second Discovery:
I know when you're going to smile!
Infant smiles become a more complex and useful tool of social communication between 8 and 12 months of age, with "anticipatory" smiles: smiling and then turning toward another person, expecting to receive a smile in return.
Although scientists can't be absolutely certain why anticipatory smiling develops at this age, they have formed a hypothesis. Babies at this stage of development have increasing strength and mobility, and are able to sit and play apart from their mothers. They play, then they look for their mothers, and their mothers look back and smile. They begin to associate the happy arousal they feel during play with looking for their mothers, and with their mothers' smiles. Before long, a baby anticipates the progression and offers a smile before looking in her mother's direction, increasingly certain that mom will be looking and will smile back. This is a simple but powerful lesson for a baby: that her interior feelings can connect her to others, and can shape the behavior of others.
Making these associations - between self and others and between emotion and behavior - fuels the development of an infant's social skills. By 8 months of age, with just a simple glance and expectant smile, a baby declares that she is already a powerful communicator, ready to enter and participate in our highly social world.
www.parenthood.com
• Your child’s eyes flutter quickly from side to side or up and down.
• The eyes are always watery.
• The eyes are always sensitive to light.
• Any change in the eyes from their usual appearance.
• You see white, grayish-white or yellow-colored material in the pupil.
• There is redness in either eye that doesn’t go away after several days.
• There is continued pus or crust in either eye.
• The eyes look crossed, turn out or don’t focus together.
• Your child often rubs either eye.
• Your child often squints.
• Your child often tilts (or turns) his or her head.
• Either eyelid appears to droop.
• Either eye appears to bulge.
www.parenthood.com
If you've ever heard a young child say something mean, it can be sad and somewhat alarming. Some parents believe kindness is a natural instinct that doesn't require teaching or modeling. Unfortunately for those parents and their kids, that's wrong.
If you want your child to grow in kindness, there are several ways to teach and reinforce this trait.
Say the words "caring" and "kindness" often when talking with your toddler. By using the words, your child can connect the concept to certain behaviors.
Most families make an effort to be kind and generous during the holiday seasons but lose their focus the rest of the year. As a family, try to perform at least one random act of kindness each month. You will be surprised at how much joy it can bring and the positive effect it can have on your family over time.
When your child is unkind, don't dismiss the act as immaturity or an embarrassing moment you'd rather forget. Without overreacting, address your child's behavior immediately. If appropriate, have your child correct the situation with an apology.
• Thumb-sucking
• Avoiding contact with the baby
• Verbal rejection
• Regression in toilet training
• Food spills
• Wanting the baby’s bottle
• Playing alone
• Resisting bedtime
• Temper tantrums
• Hitting
• Biting
• Abuse of pets
www.parenthood.com
Here are some more ways you can make the adjustments easier and more fun for everyone. This special time you spend together growing closer will last a lifetime!
• Spend time role-playing with your child. Buy your older child her own baby doll that is just for her to play with. Teach her that a newborn baby is very tiny and delicate. Let her practice holding, feeding, bathing and diapering the baby. The two of you will have fun playing mommy! Praise her for a job well done!
• Decorate the nursery together. When you decorate the nursery, let your child draw or paint a special picture to hang near the diapering table. This will not only let him feel included in all the preparation, but he will take pride in making something special for his new baby.
• Enroll your child in a new-sibling class. Most hospitals have new sibling programs for families expecting a new addition. Children love to attend these classes. They’re fun and the children learn a lot about becoming a big sister or brother. Also, being with other children in the same situation helps them feel supported. After the class is over, go for some ice cream or a special treat!
• Encourage involvement. There will be a great deal of disruption when you bring the new baby home. Let your toddler help out as much as possible. Even though you do all the right things to prepare her, expect some regression. She may revert to baby talk, or want to have her bottle back. This is a natural response, and it will not last very long. Allow her to indulge playfully in this behavior, rather than scolding or punishing her. Be sure to continue to cuddle, hold, hug and kiss your toddler even more than you did before. Reserve special one-on-one time just for the two of you. Whether you play, read or have a meal together, this special time will go a long way toward maintaining the bond the two of you have already built throughout the years.
• Read together. Children love being read to, especially when the story is about them. Take a trip with your little one to the library or a local bookstore and find the many books about becoming a big brother or sister. Enjoy the feeling of closeness that spending time reading together will bring.
As you can see, there are many ways to prepare your child for the new arrival. Understanding and being aware of the challenges that lie ahead will make this transition in your life more enjoyable for you and your entire family.
www.parenthood.com
How often do you hear your friends complain about their teenage sons and daughters? Too often, probably. Isn't it funny how so many of the complaints focus on communication problems. Either there is none or every conversation becomes a shouting match.
Here are a few tips to help you open the lines of communication without all the shouting, screaming and other static…
Make your expectations known. If your teen is going out, tell him or her exactly what you expect (i.e., what time to be home, where not to go, how to behave appropriately if going to a dance, sporting event, movie, etc.).
Give concrete responses to requests. When your teen asks permission to do something, answer "Yes" or "No" and provide the reasons behind your choice. Your teen probably won't be happy to hear "No" but there will be less of an opportunity for a full-fledged argument because he or she will have some understanding as to the why.
Create a routine schedule of activities and chores. If your teen knows that every Monday it is his or her responsibility to take out the trash, then there is no need to argue because your teen knows the expectation.
Provide an incentive when your teen doesn't argue. This doesn't mean you should cave in just to end an argument. You would be rewarding a negative behavior and signaling to your teen that if he or she argues long enough, you'll eventually crumble. Instead, show your appreciation when your teen doesn't start arguing with you, especially those times when you most expect one.
Teach your teen how to appropriately question someone's decision. Appropriately disagreeing with someone is a social skill. The behavioral steps involved include the following:
Look at the person
Use a pleasant voice tone
Say "I understand how you feel"
Tell why you feel differently
Give a reason
Listen to the other person
Your teen will benefit from your help in learning money-management skills. The earlier a teen is held accountable for staying within a reasonable budget, the better the chance of avoiding financial catastrophe when he or she leaves the nest.
Guiding your teen to good money-management practices is not difficult if you take it step by step. These steps include setting priorities, setting a budget and opening a checking account.
Prioritizing
Setting Up a Budget
If your teen does not have a checking account, now might be a good time to have him or her set one up.
Opening a Checking Account
Did you make any New Year's resolutions?
Resolutions often focus on goals to improve the physical (lose weight) or the financial (save money). As parents, our resolutions usually center around our families: spend more time with the kids, or simply try to parent better. Not surprisingly, we sometimes forget that the best thing we can do for our families is to take better care of our own emotional health.
Throughout 2006, remember to deal with your own emotional and physical needs. If you do, you'll find that it is easier for you to compassionately and successfully address the needs of others, especially your children.
The following are a few simple steps that will give you a sense of control in your life as well as improve your mental and physical well-being:
When divorced or widowed parents remarry, their children suffer from a shake-up of their familiar family unit. The changes are overwhelming and often not welcomed. Adjusting can be difficult for the kids and the parents.
Here are a few things to remember if you're facing a similar situation…
Don't expect perfection in your blended family. As a stepparent, you need to give your stepchildren space. There will be an adjustment period, which could take months, and more likely, years. Everyone will need time to adjust to the new family dynamics.
You and your stepchildren may feel obligated to love each other immediately. It is a myth that everyone in the newly established family should love each other right away. Let love develop at its own pace. Just like any relationship, kids need to get to know the new family members before they can ever grow to like them, let alone love them.
Stepchildren may feel a sense of divided loyalty. Children will sometimes struggle with the feeling that they are not allowed to love whomever they want for fear of hurting someone else as a result. They may feel guilty and confused about loving or not loving new family members. Knowing this, you should allow your stepchildren time to work things out. Be available and provide support in any way you can. Trust will develop gradually, which may evolve into love.
You, too, will need time to work through your own feelings. Are you pretending to love a stepchild to make your spouse happy? Are you suppressing your true emotions?
If you don't love your stepchildren, you still need to show respect. Once you feel that you don't have to love your stepchildren unconditionally, a burden is lifted and love may occur naturally. If it doesn't, and often love never does develop between steprelations, respect should be maintained. Respect preserves neutrality in the home and does not require love.
Put your relationship with your spouse first. Good couples make good stepparents. A solid relationship helps to maintain a united front, keeping conflict from escalating out of control. You and your spouse need to trust, love and support each other. It's important to ask what's best for the marriage, not just for the children.
Blending families together isn't always easy, sometimes it's painful, and it's certainly challenging. But if the mix is stirred gently, not shaken, a blended family can be wonderfully rewarding.
Often, those of us who have to fight rush-hour traffic, work with difficult bosses, deal with angry customers and cope with bad weather think that stay-at-home parents lead an idyllic life. Our idealized vision of their job includes endless hours of cuddling with the kids on the sofa or quietly reading to them before bedtime.
Savvy stay-at-home parents know better. Most of their waking hours are spent working hard with little relief. If you're getting ready to take on the challenge of being a stay-at-home mom or dad, here are a few tips you should know:
Update your resume
Taking care of children, especially young children, is no walk in the park. To learn common sense parenting skills or to simply refresh your memory, talk to your pediatrician, read parenting books, surf parenting websites or attend parenting classes. You might also consider joining a stress-management support group. The more prepared you are, the better you will be able to handle the unexpected.
Get the right team
Take time to shop around for the best support staff. Some key things to look for when choosing your child's doctor, nanny or baby sitter - besides ability and experience - should be his or her…
Give yourself a break
Some parents think they should be totally responsible for the home 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Other stay-at-home parents feel that their job is over when their spouse walks in the door. Both examples are too extreme. You need to learn to take scheduled and unscheduled breaks from the kids. Schedule play dates, visit the grandparents or hire a baby sitter for an hour or two. This gives you time to take care of personal needs, from taking a shower to getting a well-deserved nap.
Take your job and love it
Don't fall into the trap of being at home but not being involved. Put some fun in your day. Make a game out of tedious chores and get your children involved. You can rediscover the simple joys of being together.
Prioritize your day
Don't overdo it! Say "No" to unnecessary duties, unfulfilling activities or self-imposed responsibilities. Don't be afraid to let a few errands go undone when the unexpected emergency or event occurs. Don't be afraid to occasionally ask a friend or family member to help out with the house or yard work.
Your role as a stay-at-home parent will have its challenges, but it will also give you a feeling of accomplishment. If you don't already know, you'll soon discover that your job is as important as any other career choice you could have made.
Understanding why your child is so difficult and resistant to discipline isn't easy. If you parent a strong-willed or behaviorally disordered child, your skills as a parent are constantly tested. Perhaps the biggest challenge is teaching your child to respect limits and instructions from authority figures. This job is not easy, but with hard work, support and effective parenting skills, you can teach your hard-to-handle child the skills necessary to help him or her behave.
Q. My toddler slaps and head-butts me when he's angry. Why does he do this hurtful behavior?
A. Often, young children who have difficult temperaments misbehave because they cannot cope with their strong feelings relating to…
Q. How can I stop this behavior?
A. It may sound simple, but the first thing to do is move out of the way. Sometimes the slaps and hurtful behavior come from out of the blue and catch you off guard. If your child's behavior is explosive, you should try using preventive measures to reduce problematic behavior, including…
You must also remember to watch your own behavior. Control your vocal tone, language and physical responses. Too often, parents react inappropriately when feeling frustrated, stressed-out or angered by a child's behavior. It's important to take a deep breath and follow a few simple guidelines:
What do you do when your spouse picks a battle with your kids that you don't feel like fighting?
To begin with, not every discipline issue needs to turn into a battle between husband and wife. Afterall, discipline is the responsibility of both parents. There are going to be times when you won't agree on how to discipline or if discipline is even required. The key is consistency and collaboration. Here are a few suggestions on how to keep discipline decisions a team effort.
1. Parent first - argue later
Try to avoid arguing about discipline in front of your children. Instead, discuss your concerns at a neutral time when the kids are not present. Be willing to compromise and combine forces. Your children need to feel a sense of safety and stability, and they will have that if you demonstrate to them that you're in charge, no matter how far they push your limits.
2. Use love with logic
Be sure to assess the situation thoroughly before commenting, whether you're the one initiating the discipline or observing your spouse's response. Before you start to correct your child, ask yourself the following questions:
Does my child exhibit this behavior often?
Is this a good time and place to teach my child a different, more appropriate behavior?
Does my child know this behavior is a problem?
Am I willing to follow through with the discipline once I start?
If you answered "Yes" to any of these questions, you know how to apply love with logic in your discipline decisions.
3. Unite and conquer
Parenting is tricky business. You and your spouse won't always make the right call. When a decision turns out poorly, you need to be kind and compassionate toward each other and not play the blame game. There is no such thing as "the better parent." When there are two parents in the home, they are as good or as bad as the other. Working together is the biggest part of parenting and it requires patience, tolerance, and support - even when you would rather run away screaming. Hold on tight to each other, and conquer the situation together.
4. You're not the boss of me
When you think of milk, words such as "wholesome" and "healthy" come to mind. We're delighted when our children fill their glasses with the white (or chocolate) drink because nothing could be healthier, right?
In most instances, milk is an excellent, nutritious drink. Milk builds bones, strengthens teeth, and provides the body with essential vitamins. But when milk is served in unsafe conditions, it can be hazardous to our children's health. Here are a few helpful hints to keep in mind when you buy, store and serve milk:
Buying Milk
Storing Milk
Serving Milk
Reasonable expectations are ones that are appropriate for a child's age, ability and development. Having reasonable expectations for children is important because they make it easier for children to be successful and make parents feel less frustrated.
How do you know whether an expectation is reasonable or not? If you can answer "Yes" to all four of the following questions, then you are probably on your way to developing reasonable expectations for your children.
Have you taught the expectation to your children?
It is unreasonable to expect your kids to be able to do something if you haven't taught it to them.
Can your children understand what you taught?
One way to check for understanding is to have your children describe in their own words what you've said to them. Your child may not use the exact words that you use, but the description will indicate whether your expectations were clear and whether your child understands.
Can your children demonstrate what you taught?
Ask your children to show you what you have taught them. If they can demonstrate the task reasonably well, then your expectation is probably within your children's abilities.
Have you modeled the behavior you want your children to do?
Do you routinely show your children what you want them to do? Modeling is a very important and very powerful learning tool; your children are always watching what you do and trying to imitate your behavior. So if you want your son to learn to throw a dirty sock in the hamper, for example, let him see you do it and then have him repeat what you did by throwing another sock in the hamper. If you want your daughter to say "Thank you" when you give her a toy, tell her "Thank you" when she gives you something.
Clear expectations help children understand what they should and shouldn't do. Even though kids won't meet all your expectations all the time, consistency and patience will pay off in the long run.
Remember that your own expectations are important, too. Take time regularly to assess what your expectations are in all aspects of your life - parenting, social life, career, community involvement, etc.
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New parents are always worried about the physical and emotional health of their children. From getting little ones to eat their vegetables to deciding on medical intervention, parents want to know how best to bring up baby.
Below are important facts you should know regarding children's health issues.
Vitamins
Are you worried your little ones are not getting all the vitamins they need from the foods they eat? Fearful of vitamin deficiencies, some parents insist on giving their children daily vitamin tablets.
Many physicians do not prescribe to this idea, especially if children are healthy and have a normal diet. That's because most kids will get their necessary vitamins by drinking three 8-ounce glasses of milk a day combined with a normal diet.
If you have a chronically ill child or one who is a poor eater, daily vitamin supplements may be a necessity. Infants who breast feed for more than four to six months may also require additional sources of vitamin D.
Nutrition
Studies have shown that certain foods such as spinach, collards and turnip greens can disrupt the flow of hemoglobin in toddlers. You should consult your pediatrician before introducing any new foods to your infant or toddler. Even though a jar may be labeled as "baby food," that doesn't necessarily mean it's okay for any age or your particular child.
Jaundice
There's a misconception among many parents that jaundice is something that shows up right after childbirth. In reality, jaundice can occur in children up to 40 weeks after birth.
Jaundice is caused by an excess amount of bilirubin in the skin, causing a yellowish discoloration.
A common treatment for jaundice is phototherapy. This involves exposing a child to fluorescent lights, which help to break down the bilirubin that is just beneath the skin. It is a painless procedure. One way to detect jaundice is to gently press down on your child's nose or belly. If the skin appears yellow, you should contact your pediatrician.
CAT Scans
Some parents fear that the radiation from a CAT or CT scan may cause cancer in their children. Most medical professionals discount that possibility. In fact, children may be at greater risk from not having the procedure when it's deemed medically necessary.
Some studies have suggested that children may be at greater risk of developing cancer later in life if they had a disease that required constant monitoring using a CT scan. If you're concerned about the level of radiation your child will be exposed to, share your fears with the physician. You can also ask the technician performing the procedure to adjust the level of radiation.
ER Visits
No one is prepared when the painfully unexpected occurs. That's why a visit to the ER can be so confusing. It's difficult to remember your own name in the midst of a crisis, let alone answer questions about a loved one's medical past. While you can't be completely prepared for this type of situation, you can do a few simple things to avoid compounding your stress. For example, keep a backpack filled with some basic essentials:
If your child's emergency resulted from ingesting poison, pills or even a plant, take a sample along with you to the ER and show it to the attending physician.
In our Common Sense Parenting® classes, moms and dads often complain about how their young children can't seem to get along with each other. This is especially true when an only child has to welcome a sibling after several years of enjoying Mom and Dad's undivided attention. The ensuing shouting matches and shoving contests leave parents asking, "Why can't my kids get along?"
Fortunately, there are things you can do to bring more peaceful behavior to your home:
FACT:
Sibling rivalry is a normal part of family life. Children are trying to find out how much you love them, what your limits are and where they stand in the family pecking order.
PROBLEM:
Sibling rivalry can be dangerous if you allow the following to happen:
FACT:
Sibling rivalry is to be expected, especially when the temperaments of your children are vastly different or fairly identical.
PROBLEM:
Sibling rivalry can become a nuisance when children are constantly attacking, tattling or teasing each other over the smallest thing. The problem is compounded if you unknowingly reinforce the behavior through your own actions or by overreacting.
FACT:
Sibling rivalry can cause emotions to run high and tempers to flare. It is difficult for young children to keep their feelings in check, especially when it comes to who is right and who is wrong.
PROBLEM:
Sibling rivalry can turn into an uncontrollable outburst if you ignore the red flags that signal things are escalating out of control. Don't wait until you see your children swinging their fists, shouting obscenities or exhibiting other dangerous behavior. Swiftly correct the bad behavior when you see it and move on
Most children look forward to getting their first bicycle. During the holiday season, lots of new tricycles and bicycles find their way to young and old alike. However, if you live in a snowy climate, winter means that it will be a few months before your kids can show off their new wheels on neighborhood sidewalks and streets. That will give you time to teach your children the rules of the road and educate yourself about bike safety.
How to avoid high-risk behavior:
Parents who care know biking rules:
These are just a few safety tips that can go a long way toward protecting your children's health and well-being. For more information on biking laws and safety programs in your community, contact your local law enforcement agency.
When’s the last time you gave your toddler’s room a good safety check? Have you ever?
Sometimes, the most ordinary things can be the most potentially dangerous. When you walk into your child’s room today, here are a few things you should look for or keep an eye on.
Toy Box
If your child’s toy box comes with a lid, you should remove it. Toddlers like to pull themselves up and climb around. If your son or daughter gets into the box, pulls the lid shut, he or she will be trapped. If the toy box is on wheels, you should take them off. You might also want to drill air holes into the side of the toy box.
If you’ve seen your child climb on top of the toy box, then make sure it sits away from windows, dressers or anything that could hurt your child if he or she falls or tries to climb higher. Alternatives to toy boxes are securely fastened shelves and closets without doors.
Bed
Keep the mattress clear of large and small objects. Nighttime tossing and turning puts your toddler in all sorts of positions. He or she could be cut or nicked by a toy or smothered by stuffed animals.
If you plan to get bunk beds, your toddler should be at least 6 years old. Avoid metal frames and put wooden guardrails on the top and bottom bunks. The upper bunk also should be reinforced with wooden slats.
Drapes and Blinds
The dangling chords used to open and close drapes and blinds can strangle your toddler. The chords should be tied together and secured in a way that keeps them beyond your toddler’s reach.
Windows and Doors
The windows in your toddler’s room should be open a maximum of four inches. This can prevent your child from getting his or her fingers severely pinched if the window falls shut. The narrow width also will prevent your child from falling out. If the windows do not need to be open, keep them closed and locked. Put safety locks on closet doors and childproof protectors on electrical sockets.
How much growing and learning can you expect from a typical baby who is between 6 months and 1 year old? Here are a few of the developmental “highlights” for children that age:
Physical – Sits alone, crawls, stands holding on to furniture, may walk; ability to grasp items between thumb and fingers improves; gives and takes objects; may favor using left hand or right hand
Cognitive – Recognizes name; enjoys listening to music; repeats chance behaviors that lead to fun or interesting results, such as a new noise; responds joyfully to image in mirror; can tell the difference between children and adults; engages in intentional or goal-directed behavior
Language – Loves to make noise; babbling expands to include sounds of spoken language; may repeat simple phrases; may say “dada” or “mama”; uses pointing or showing to communicate; understands a few words and may respond to short, simple requests; understands the meaning of “no”
Emotional/Social – May insist on feeding self; shows independence by not always being cooperative; begins trying to imitate parent behaviors; shows some fear of strangers; shows attachment to familiar caregivers; uses caregiver as a secure base for exploration; shows more frequent displays of anger and fear; smiles and laughs socially; shows very strong attachment to mother and develops attachment to father, siblings and other familiar people.
www.parenting.org
Are you having trouble keeping track of your teen's school progress? Have you been shocked to discover your teen is failing when it is too late to salvage the quarter or semester grade?
In general, parents receive less and less feedback from school as their children get older. This is understandable: The older the student, the more responsibility he or she is given to take care of things personally.
However, you are still the parent and need to know how things are going. Even if the responsibility for completing homework rests on your teen, you need information about deficiencies before it is too late. You can then take your own action. You might consider providing extra help for your teen, withholding privileges, including participation in extracurricular activities, or just having a heads-up about possible red flags. A bad grade might simply be a snag in one class, but falling grades are also an early sign of problems such as chemical abuse, gang involvement or depression.
Here are some suggestions to help you take a leadership role in school matters:
Many parents only contact the school when they are upset with something. The best way to build a strong relationship with school personnel is to make positive contact whenever possible. Show appreciation for the efforts the teachers and counselors are making to help your teen. Everyone benefits when the relationships between school and home are positive and cooperative.
www.parenting.org1. Never give your baby warmed foods before checking the temperature first. Prevent burns by sampling the food yourself or placing a small dollop on your wrist. If it’s too hot for you, it’s too hot for your baby.
2. Do not feed honey or corn syrup to a baby younger than 1 year of age. These edibles can cause infant botulism, a bacterial disease that can be fatal if not treated. Honey and corn syrup are safe for children over 1.
3. Refrain from giving your baby a bottle containing milk, formula, or juice just before bedtime. The sugars found in these liquids will pool around your child’s budding teeth and lead to a condition known as baby bottle tooth decay.
4. Never feed your baby foods that pose a choking hazard – especially raisins, peanuts, hard candies, popcorn, or raw carrots. Hot dogs can be given to babies if they are cut lengthwise and then sliced into quarters. Grapes should be peeled and halved.
5. Introduce new foods one at a time. By doing this, you’ll notice if any particular foods cause an allergic reaction. Also, wait until your child is at least 1 year old before introducing food that traditionally spark allergic reactions – such as peanuts, tree nuts, dairy products, and shell fish.
6. Always wash your hands thoroughly with warm water and antibacterial soap before preparing foods.
7. Do not give unpasteurized milk, apple juice or apple cider to your child. Such products may contain E. coli, a foodborne illness that is particularly dangerous to babies with weak immune systems.
8. Speak to your doctor before trying to prepare your own baby food. Certain vegetables contain high levels of nitrate – beets, carrots, collard greens, turnips, and spinach – and improper home-canning is a leading cause of botulism in the United States.
9. Don't give your child too much fruit juice. While fruit juice is an excellent source of vitamin C and can be part of a healthy child's diet, they contain large amounts of sugar and offer little to no fiber. Also, too much juice can curb children's appetites, meaning kids may skip meals where foods rich in essential nutrients and vitamins are served. To keep kids from drinking too much fruit juice, the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends:
If your child is experiencing an extended or difficult illness, getting him or her to take needed medicine can be a huge challenge. The problem can be made worse if the medicine causes your child to feel queasy or interrupts his or her daily schedule. How do you respond to the whining, tantrums, tears and flat out refusals to swallow another pill or take another injection?
No matter how unpleasant it is for you to give your toddler medicine, it needs to be done. You shouldn't expect your toddler to embrace the experience. Instead, try to make medication time a workable moment. These strategies can help:
Plan for success…
For some young children, it is not the act of taking medicine that is a drag but the events that precede it. For example, do you say to your child, "Okay, it's time again, and don't act like you did yesterday or else." Statements like this alert your child that something bad is about to happen. Your young child will likely put on the battle gear - attitude and all.
A better option is to sandwich this unpleasant moment between two fun activities. This can shorten your child's delay tactics because he or she will want to get back to doing the fun activity as soon as possible.
Don't pass the buck…
If you're telling your child it is the fault of a doctor, therapist or someone else that he or she is taking this medicine, you send a bad message. You're telling your child that you don't agree with the situation either, and your child is right to refuse the medication.
Instead of playing the blame game, calmly control the situation by explaining why taking the medicine is so important. Again, remind your son or daughter that once he or she takes the medicine, the sooner both of you can do something more fun.
Use the spoon…
Swallowing pills can be really difficult for young children. If your child is afraid to swallow a pill, check with your physician to see if the medication is available in liquid form. Keep in mind that your child will eventually need to learn to swallow pills because some medications come only in that form.
If a pill is the only option for your toddler, try the hide-and-seek technique. Disguise the pill in some type of food. However, you MUST get the permission of your doctor or pharmacist before doing so to make sure the pill's effectiveness will not be compromised or reduced. Eventually, you will have to wean your toddler off this technique. As he or she matures, your child needs to be able to take medicine without such a big production.
Practice to make perfect…
Try to give your child some of the responsibility for taking medicine. Practice sessions before the real thing can reduce some of your child's fear and anxiety. For example, demonstrate what you will do and explain what your child needs to do when it's time to take medication. You can have your toddler practice swallowing pills using a large glass of water and a small sweet, such as an M&M or Skittle. Your toddler will be less afraid practicing with something that he or she likes. If your child gags, try breaking the "pretend pill" into a smaller portion. One goal of practicing is to get your child to feel that he or she has some control over the process.
Be matter-of-fact
Try to communicate a straightforward attitude about taking medicine through your words and demeanor. By treating it as just another daily routine like taking a bath or nap, you can maintain a sense of normalcy that will be comforting to your toddler.
Here is an example of a mom and son who make taking medicine part of their routine:
While Mom prepares cornbread in the kitchen with her son, she says, "It's one, two, three time!" Because they have practiced this routine, the son knows it's time for him to grab his magic spoon, special cup and napkin (for cleaning up spills). Mom grabs the medicine bottle from the refrigerator and continues to stir the batter.
The son then says, "One!" Mom opens the medicine bottle and the son sits in his favorite chair at the kitchen table. Then he shouts out, "Two!" He holds out his spoon with both hands, and Mom pours the medicine. He then says, "Three," and swallows the spoonful of medicine. He finishes by taking a sip of water from his special cup. When done, Mom and son return to making the cornbread.
These are just a few strategies you can try with your "medicine refusnik." For additional help and suggestions, consult your family physician or therapist.
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Did you know that reading to your child can improve his or her overall development?
Reading has the potential to accelerate your child's ability to organize thoughts, bond with you, relate to others and communicate. When reading to your child, know that he or she may not understand every word you say. However, over time and through repetition, your child will learn what words mean and how to say them. This is especially true if reading is part of a daily routine.
Verbal Development
You can help your child learn words and word meanings faster by using gestures, stressing pronunciation and using touch, taste or smell to bring words to life.
For example, when reading from your child's favorite pop-up book, repeat certain words that you think your child is ready to learn. If the word is "ball", have one nearby. Say "ball" several times while letting your child play with it. Also point to the word "ball" in the book. When your child uses all the senses to learn, he or she will be more likely to recall the word and use it correctly in the future.
Cognitive Development
Recent studies show that many children entering kindergarten have a difficult time organizing their thoughts. Reading can be a fun and effective way to improve your child’s ability to recognize and say words as well as process thoughts faster.
When reading to your child, include direct or open-ended questions about the text. For example, you could ask, "Who had the ball first?" or "What else is round like a ball?" Questions like these make children think and organize their thoughts. The more often children practice processing their thoughts, the easier it becomes.
Physical Development
Poor hand-eye coordination is common in young children. But did you know it is a skill that can be improved through reading?
Allow your child to point to pictures or words and turn the pages of a book, even if it takes multiple tries. It's an easy exercise to develop hand-eye coordination.
Social and Emotional Development
Snuggling with your child in a favorite chair to read together can be magical. Recent studies suggest that children who experience this type of safe, comforting interaction are less stressed later in life and live longer. Story time gives your child access to you and your hugs, cuddles and laughs. Best of all, your child knows that he or she is loved.
If you take the time to truly interact with your child, story time will provide the developmental skills your child needs to succeed.
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Are you agonizing over whether or not your family should adopt a pet? When you have young children, there's a lot to consider.
For starters, toddlers often don't know what to do with a pet, other than grab at the animal or crawl on it. With young children, you may be constantly trying to protect the kids and the pet from each other. If you don't already have a family pet, some animal behaviorists suggest waiting until your child is at least 3 years old before getting one.
Dogs are one of the most popular pet choices. They are relatively easy to care for, fun to play with and loyal. When picking a dog for your family, you should consider its size. Small dogs, including miniature dachshunds, Pomeranians, Chihuahuas and Papillons require a gentle touch. The rough play of children may be too much for these fragile, four-legged friends. On the other hand, Dalmatians and Great Danes might have a little too much energy and size for your toddler to handle. German Shepherds, dobermans and Saint Bernards usually do not make good pets for young children, and pit bull terriers can be extremely dangerous.
You want a dog that is friendly and tolerates children. However, even a gentle dog can injure your child if provoked under certain circumstances. Teach your child never to tease or disturb an animal that is eating or sleeping. If you have children younger than 4, they should not be left alone unsupervised around a dog or cat. Infants should never be left alone in a room with a pet.
Here are other tips to remember when deciding on a pet for your family:
One of the most important things you can do to maintain a healthy family life is to have family traditions. If you don’t have traditions already, this holiday season is the perfect time to start a ritual, celebration or habit of your own.
Your family can celebrate the holidays in many ways. Here are a few examples of traditions that may work for you:
As your family marks holidays or special events, be sure to talk to your children about the specifics of your family celebration. Make sure your children help plan the celebration and assist with preparations, such as helping set the table or greeting guests.
As your children grow older, you can provide more details about how your family traditions got started and why they’re important. These details will help your children understand the traditions so they can carry them on when they are adults or adapt them to their own lives as they get older. Traditions provide each generation with links to the past.
For some, memories of holidays and special events may not be pleasant. If that is true in your family, try to establish different traditions that give new meaning to these special days.
Whether it’s with special foods or one-of-a-kind activities, traditions create fond childhood memories and bring everyone in the family closer together.
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When your child is angry and throws a tantrum, do you feel as though you have no control? Thoughts of helplessness can creep into the mind of even the most motivated parent.
A common reaction from parents whose child has just thrown a fit is to quickly return to life as usual. However, if little Johnnie or Suzy isn't taken aside and taught that tantrums won't be tolerated, the behavior is sure to repeat itself.
The next time your child has a meltdown, remember: You need to control your own emotions, and you need to correct your child's behavior.
Here are a few strategies to help you and your child stay in control.
Training daysTake time each day to practice your own personal staying-calm plan. The plan can be as simple as taking several deep breaths or as involved as reciting a positive message in your head.
Have a game plan for dealing with your child's tantrums. You and your spouse should agree on what to say and do when a child acts out. It's important for children to have parents who encourage and enforce the same behavior expectations.
Devise signals or choose "clue words" that will alert you or your spouse when your emotions are starting to run high or when your child's behavior is spiraling out of control.
If you're a single parent, always be consistent. Say what you mean, and mean what you say.
Never surrenderAvoid arguing or debating with your toddler.
You're the parent. The more rational you are, the quicker your child is likely to respond to your request. Parents who surrender are parents who exhibit the very behaviors they're trying to stop (yelling, arguing, threatening, etc.).
Don't sacrifice your adult role to act out your child's naughty behavior.
Return to the crimeYour first reaction after stopping a tantrum may be to escape from the scene and get back to something more pleasant. However, your child should have the opportunity to undo whatever he or she did.
Children are never too young to start taking responsibility for their actions.
If your child acted out by making a mess, saying naughty words, hitting others or destroying objects, make him or her correct the situation. That means cleaning up the mess, apologizing, doing something nice for others or replacing what was broken.
Children who must deal with their negative actions learn a valuable lesson.
Effective consequencesFor example, if your child acts out in a store, don't threaten never to visit that store again - that's unrealistic. More effective consequences include going to the car for a time-out or taking away a snack, a possession, playtime or some other privilege.
If you go to the car for time-out, give your child a few minutes to calm down. Then, clearly describe the appropriate behavior you expect when he or she is in the store. You may even want to practice how to follow instructions and accept "No" for an answer. The latter may require several practices.
After you've explained your expectations and practiced with your child, return to the store. Let your child demonstrate what you taught during time-out. Give simple instructions, and praise your child for following your directions.
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